Behind Me
by Written in Words
Summary: Maybe I should turned around once in awhile just for the heck of it and see if it is so I can give it a good yelling at why it never shows up in front of me to give me happiness! JamesLily oneshot


**Fine fine.. none of these characters belong to me; only Ms. J.K. Rowling**

_**Behind Me**_

Her long curly red hair fell elegantly upon her smooth silky cream skin. Freckles laid in a pattern that fell along the line of her cheekbones and nose. Thin lips slightly rosy yet a little pale, it's not curving up to show a smile, nor was it curved down to make a frown. Moving up to now her emerald eyes, which used to be gleaming with happiness that is now blurred with droplets of tears.

Lily Evans sat at the corner of the common room on her usual red comfy chair silently, staring out the window at what can be a beautiful scenery that anyone can admire its beauty, but not her. Lily stared blankly with her blurry vision and with millions of things running through her thoughts.

_"I...I...I can't believe it...he...he..."_

"Lily...Lily! Lily, what's wrong Lily..." Arabella silently whispered after she rushed in the common room after she came back from her little talk with Sirius and Remus.

"Lily..." she sighed, "Lily...talk to me."

"B-..Bella..." Lily whimpered out "I...I...no...it's my fault. I overreacted."

"What did you say to James?"

"I said..." Lily gave out a sigh and a tear drop forming in her eyes, "I said I hated him."

"Oh, Lils...but as long as he knows you didn't mean it and that you really don't mean it."

"But the thing is Bella, I...I said that..."

_Flashback_

_Lily was sitting comfortably on James with her head resting on his chest and a small smile across her face. James stared blanky at the ceiling with an emotionless face._

_"James...what's wrong?" Lily asked slightly worried that he hadn't said a word or that he didn't want a good snogging._

_James gave out a loud sigh, "Mmh hmm, I'm okay."_

_"Okay? Just okay? Why just okay?"_

_"Just a lot on my mind right now...that's all, nothing to worry about." he said smiling at her._

_"If you say so..." Lily whispered in a change of mood_

_"So...how was your day sweetie?"_

_"It was...meh...it was...okay." She said softly_

_"Lily, are YOU okay? All of a sudden there's a change of tone in your voice. Are you having one of those days again where you just don't feel happy and you don't know why?" James asked slightly laughing_

_Lily's eyes burrowed annoyed with the fact that he even chuckled, even just a bit. Thinking to herself, 'Acutally yes I am having one of those days again' but she answered..._

_"Yeah yeah I'm okay."_

_They sat in silent again but with a mood shift. A slightly uncomfortable one._

_"So what did you do today? I haven't seen you all day because of quidditch practice."_

_"Well you know, the usual. Sat in the library most of the time, read until Madam Pince threw me out. Then I got hungry again" she smiled sheepishly, "So I went to the kitchens and the house elves made me a whole buffet." Lily grinned_

_"Haha wow Lils, someone's got an appetite, like always. You're my little fatty aren't you." James smiled_

_Lily looked up and grinned at him._

_Once again...they sat in silence. Only the noises from their fellow classmates can be heard and the sound of exploding snaps from Sirius and Remus._

_"Are you sure okay? Absolutely, positively?" Lily asked once more_

_"Yes I'm sure. Absolutely, positively. Don't worry about it. It's nothing." James sighed once more_

_"Alrighty then...I guess..."_

_"So...what's up with you hmm?"_

_"Lily? Sweetie? What's wrong?"_

_"Huh?...Oh nothing" Lily who now is the one staring blanky outside the window._

_"Lily don't worry, I'm fine. Don't worry so much okay?"_

_"..."_

_James gave a big sigh and looked at her, "Lily...are you really not going to answer me?"_

_"..."_

_"You're not going to talk to me either? I assure you, I'm fine"_

_"If you say so..." she said half-heartedly._

_"You know if you're not going to say anything, I'm going to leave." James raised his voice a little bit catching Sirius and Remus's attention._

_James got up, making Lily got up too. He walked half way towards the door until Lily's voice abruptedly stopped him._

_"Is this what you do all the time? Walk away when I don't say anything? You're not going to even stay with me to see if there really is anything wrong?!" She shouted which caught everyone's attention in the common room. Sirius ushered them out to leave the two to have some privacy._

_"Well, you said you're fine. And if there is something wrong that you don't want to talk about then I won't pressure you into telling me. Also, you weren't answering me." James said defending himself._

_"I can't believe you still don't understand me. Can't you just stay with me even if I'm not saying anything? Does it really make you that uncomfortable? When I feel down, I just want someone to stay with me, that's all. Why do you always have to walk away when that's what I want the most?" Lily cried with her eyes turning a bit red and teary._

_"Lily, we've been only going out for a month and a half. Do you really think I can figure you out like that within time?"_

_"Well I would've thought because it had happened so many times before. Everytime I ask you "What's wrong" you always give me the same answer even when I say don't lie to me. Don't you see that after you say "It's nothing. Don't worry about it" my mood all of a sudden change?"_

_"Yes I know, but sweetie, you shouldn't let other people's emotion take over your own. That's not good for you."_

_Lily stared at him in disbelief, "Well sorry if I happen to care a little too much then!" she screamed and ran up to the girl's dormitory. "You know what?!" she yelled, but before James could answer Lily screamed, "I hate you"_

_"I don't get it. What did I do?" James asked his best mates as he stared down sadly at Lily leaving._

_"You've got to be kidding me Paddy. Even I know what you did wrong, and I'm the player of this whole damn place," Sirius stated_

_"What was that Black? Still a player? Fine, I guess I wasn't the only girl for you," Arabella joked after entering the room_

_"Oh you know you're the only one for me babe," Sirius grinned and pulled her into a big hug_

_Bella smiled then stared off to James. "What happened here?" she asked looking around_

_"Oh well...Jamsie here, pissed off the future Mrs. James Potter"_

_"Is that so? Por que, what happened?"_

_"Porky? Where?" Sirius asked with wide eyes_

_"Nevermind..." Bella sighed laughing at his childish behavior as she headed up the dorm to go see Lily_

_End of Flashback_

"Oh, so that's what happened."

"Lily dear, you really can't blame James for all this. He's kind of right. It's only been a month and a couple of weeks. Well yes, you did overreacted a little bit but it's for the best since you already told him wha'ts going on, maybe it won't happen again later in the future."

"Yeah you're right," Lily gave a small smile. "Thanks Bella, you're the best"

"Haha but of course. Really, I never would have thought I'd see the day you'd say yes to Potter. Remember how you used to hate his guts throughout first year till just about the beginning of this school year?"

"Yeah," Lily smiled at that thought, "I never would have thought either."

Lily sat in silence once more and stared out at the window out to the Forbidden Forest.

"Uh oh...are you having one of those days again?" Bella asked worriedly

"Mmh...yeah..." Lily sighed, "after all these years, I still don't know why"

"I don't know why you're like that either. Every year, when it's the month of January, you have one of these days where you just feel content. You're not happy nor are you sad. And being friends with you for so long, I still don't know what's the reason behind this weird mood of yours."

"Haha don't ask me. Even I myself don't know."

"Hey, let's walk around the corridors. Let's cheer you up yeah?" Bella said with enthusiasm

"If you insists," Lily smiled

The two girls walked around remembering the good old times they've shared in this castle, not believing that they will soon graduate within a couple months. Though through all the laughing and talking, Lily's mood changed back to "one of those days" again and stared in silent.

"Lily, Lily, Lily. My poor dear friend." Bella sighed after the 7th time Lily went silent again.

"Bella I just don't get it. Why am I not happy? I mean, everything is perfect in my life. Good grades. Great friends. An awesome boyfriend. Why am I not happy? It's like, happiness is always behind me following me around, but never acutally showing up infront of my face so that I can't enjoy it. I just don't get it."

"Maybe you're worned out from everything. You know. It is January, half the year have gone by. Maybe you're tired from all those late night studies, all the long end projects, the tutoring you do, plus people come up to you for help and advice. And yeah, maybe they've worn you down."

"I guess. But I'm still not over the fact that happiness may be just right behind me. Maybe I should turned around once in awhile just for the heck of it and see if it is so I can give it a good yelling at why it never shows up in front of me to give me happiness."

With that said, Lily twirled around quickly finding herself face-to-face with her one and only boyfriend. James gave her a big smile and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier, I should have kno-" James began but was cut off by Lily

"No no, you were right, I'm sorry," Lily smiled and kissed him softly on his cheek

They stayed like that after a few minutes until...

"Now then, are you happy sweetie?" James asked

"Definately" she answered with a nod, "happiness was really behind me this whole time and all I needed to do was turned around and appreciate it for following me."

"But does that mean you'll still give me a good yelling," James asked slightly scared.

"Mmmh" Lily pretended to think for a moment with her index finger on her chin, "Yes!" she smiled. "I missed dinner! I'm hungry! Make me food now Mr. Potter!" Lily commanded along with a playful smack on his arm

"Geez so mean! Why should I listen to you! Who do you think you are huh?" James pouted

"I'm your girlfriend. Believe it or not, you're stuck with me" Lily answered and stuck her tongue out at him, "and because I said so"

"Is that so?" James replied

The couple walked and chattered down the hallway, their voices getting softer and softer.

Bella stood there staring at the scene and shooked her head, "Kids..." she smiled and watched as the two raced each other down to the kitchens

"Hey lovely, waiting for me?" Sirius's voice broke her trance

"As if," she teased

"Oh what? Fine." he said as he walked away slowly

"Haha I'm just kidding! Don't walk away." she pouted

Sirius turned around facing her and ran back hugging her from behind, "I was just kidding too," he grinned as they walked back to the common room in that position laughing and joking along the corridor.


End file.
